1
00:00:03,250 --> 00:00:05,818
A little candlelight
to set the mood.
2
00:00:05,853 --> 00:00:07,554
You're right.
3
00:00:07,588 --> 00:00:10,557
It's kind of romantic in here
when all those guys are gone.
4
00:00:10,591 --> 00:00:12,559
Yeah, and it smells
a lot better, too.
5
00:00:12,593 --> 00:00:13,960
[Laughs]
6
00:00:13,994 --> 00:00:15,228
And, you know,
being the owner of this place,
7
00:00:15,262 --> 00:00:17,697
it's my own,
uh, personal playground.
8
00:00:17,731 --> 00:00:19,966
Really?
What do you want to play?
9
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,969
I was thinking we could play
rugged bartender
10
00:00:23,003 --> 00:00:26,105
and lonely businesswoman
in town for the night.
11
00:00:26,140 --> 00:00:27,840
But you are a rugged bartender,
12
00:00:27,875 --> 00:00:29,709
and I am
a lonely businesswoman.
13
00:00:29,743 --> 00:00:31,304
Well, then,
we're gonna be good at this.
14
00:00:33,614 --> 00:00:34,847
Ok cha: Steve!
15
00:00:34,882 --> 00:00:37,951
Are these your underpants
or your father's?
16
00:00:37,985 --> 00:00:40,720
Jesus!
17
00:00:40,754 --> 00:00:41,921
Is this your mother?
18
00:00:41,956 --> 00:00:43,890
No, no.
She's my maid.
19
00:00:45,626 --> 00:00:46,859
Yeah, the maid who pushed
20
00:00:46,894 --> 00:00:49,796
your balloon head
out of her vagina.
21
00:00:51,699 --> 00:00:52,966
You live with your parents.
22
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,100
No, no. I don't
live with my parents.
23
00:00:54,134 --> 00:00:55,735
Jack: Hey, son.
24
00:00:55,769 --> 00:00:57,270
Have you seen my candle
that covers up the smells
25
00:00:57,304 --> 00:00:59,272
in the bathroom?
26
00:00:59,306 --> 00:01:00,707
Okay, okay.
27
00:01:00,741 --> 00:01:03,209
Technically, my parents,
they live with me.
28
00:01:03,244 --> 00:01:04,811
Honey, uh,
let's leave them alone.
29
00:01:04,845 --> 00:01:06,679
Just tell me
whose underpants these are
30
00:01:06,714 --> 00:01:09,649
and you can go back
to tonight's piece of strange.
31
00:01:09,683 --> 00:01:11,217
What?
32
00:01:11,252 --> 00:01:12,685
Jack: They're mine.
33
00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,154
Those boxer briefs
are a revelation.
34
00:01:15,189 --> 00:01:17,023
It's like it takes
everything from down there
35
00:01:17,057 --> 00:01:19,959
and pulls it
into one nice package.
36
00:01:19,994 --> 00:01:23,229
You know, maybe I should go.
Wait.
37
00:01:23,264 --> 00:01:26,232
Now that I look at them,
of course they're your father's.
38
00:01:26,267 --> 00:01:29,002
They're too big
for your little balls.
39
00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:37,210
Sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
40
00:01:37,211 --> 00:01:41,114
♪ da da da da,
da da da, da, da da ♪
41
00:01:41,148 --> 00:01:45,251
♪ da, da da da, da da da ♪
42
00:01:45,286 --> 00:01:49,355
♪ da da da da,
da da da, da da da ♪
43
00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:55,128
♪ da da da da, da da da,
da da da, da da da, hey! ♪
44
00:01:55,162 --> 00:01:56,829
Make it a quick one, Steve.
45
00:01:56,864 --> 00:01:58,798
I'm meeting
a couple of fellas here.
46
00:01:58,832 --> 00:02:03,069
My 7:00 is this really great guy
I met on Stamps.com.
47
00:02:03,103 --> 00:02:05,672
Carol, uh, Stamps.com
is not a dating service.
48
00:02:05,706 --> 00:02:08,074
Why don't you try
something like, uh, eharmony?
49
00:02:08,108 --> 00:02:11,744
Oh, Steve, anyone can
meet someone on eharmony.
50
00:02:11,779 --> 00:02:13,780
Stamps.com
is for people
51
00:02:13,814 --> 00:02:16,149
who never get tired of licking.
52
00:02:19,586 --> 00:02:21,554
Yeah, I like
the Internet machine, too.
53
00:02:21,588 --> 00:02:23,890
I just sit there,
and I type in stuff
54
00:02:23,924 --> 00:02:25,258
that's in my head,
55
00:02:25,292 --> 00:02:27,293
and I found that there's
a lot of people out there
56
00:02:27,328 --> 00:02:29,562
who agree with what's up here.
57
00:02:29,596 --> 00:02:32,565
So I put
the real Hank out there.
58
00:02:32,599 --> 00:02:36,169
Steve... black people don't use
the Internet, do they?
59
00:02:36,203 --> 00:02:38,905
Hank, remember when
you asked me to tell you
60
00:02:38,939 --> 00:02:40,673
when you say
something offensive?
61
00:02:40,708 --> 00:02:42,842
Yeah, but that was
about the Jews.
62
00:02:42,876 --> 00:02:45,678
No, that was pretty much
about everybody.
63
00:02:45,713 --> 00:02:47,113
I can't keep up!
64
00:02:47,147 --> 00:02:51,084
All of a sudden, it's 1993
and the rules have changed.
65
00:02:51,118 --> 00:02:53,353
Steve, have you seen
this month's books?
66
00:02:53,387 --> 00:02:57,357
Not good. Here's what came in.
Here's what went out.
67
00:02:57,391 --> 00:02:59,992
See, you want this
number to be larger.
68
00:03:00,027 --> 00:03:03,730
Yeah, I get math, Susan.
I'm Korean, too.
69
00:03:03,764 --> 00:03:05,865
You're really terrible
at running a business.
70
00:03:05,899 --> 00:03:07,734
Not like us, right, mom?
71
00:03:07,768 --> 00:03:12,205
Every time you call me "mom,"
it breaks my heart.
72
00:03:12,239 --> 00:03:13,873
Sorry, mom.
73
00:03:13,907 --> 00:03:17,610
[Gasps] Are you
trying to kill me?!
74
00:03:17,644 --> 00:03:20,213
Why is she so mean to me?
75
00:03:20,247 --> 00:03:21,981
You know the word "mom"
is one of her trigger words.
76
00:03:22,015 --> 00:03:23,549
Remember the time
you used "mom" and "hug"
77
00:03:23,584 --> 00:03:24,684
in the same sentence?
78
00:03:24,718 --> 00:03:26,219
You ruined Christmas.
79
00:03:26,253 --> 00:03:29,055
Look, you want to
turn this thing around,
80
00:03:29,089 --> 00:03:30,656
just get everyone to start
paying their bar tabs.
81
00:03:30,691 --> 00:03:32,658
Ugh, collecting money
from my friends
82
00:03:32,693 --> 00:03:34,293
is the worst part
about this job.
83
00:03:34,328 --> 00:03:35,995
- I hate this.
Ok Cha: - Not me.
84
00:03:40,267 --> 00:03:44,971
Say hello to Dr. Pain!
He makes house calls.
85
00:03:45,005 --> 00:03:46,839
- Owen, you got any money?
- No.
86
00:03:46,874 --> 00:03:48,908
Then put your hand on the bar.
87
00:03:50,244 --> 00:03:52,145
Pick your
least-favorite finger.
88
00:03:55,883 --> 00:03:57,717
Mom! Mom!
89
00:03:57,751 --> 00:04:00,319
Steve, will you
call your mom off?
90
00:04:00,354 --> 00:04:01,788
Hey, this is on you guys.
91
00:04:01,822 --> 00:04:03,189
If you just paid up,
this wouldn't be happening.
92
00:04:03,223 --> 00:04:05,124
It doesn't seem right
that we have to pay for beer.
93
00:04:05,159 --> 00:04:06,893
You just get it
from the tap, anyway.
94
00:04:06,927 --> 00:04:09,729
A-and where does the beer
in the tap come from, Owen?
95
00:04:09,763 --> 00:04:12,799
Beer Mountain.
96
00:04:12,833 --> 00:04:15,067
L-look, everybody
has to pay, okay?
97
00:04:15,102 --> 00:04:16,936
And anybody else got
any problems with me?
98
00:04:16,970 --> 00:04:18,938
You suck, Steve!
99
00:04:18,972 --> 00:04:21,073
Wow. That was fast.
100
00:04:21,108 --> 00:04:22,942
Last week, my wife
made me sleep on the couch
101
00:04:22,976 --> 00:04:24,677
and you gave me
terrible advice!
102
00:04:24,711 --> 00:04:26,679
He told me to listen to her
103
00:04:26,713 --> 00:04:29,215
and to really take in
what she's saying!
104
00:04:29,249 --> 00:04:31,551
Aww.
That's crazy, Steve.
105
00:04:31,585 --> 00:04:33,019
What?
That's good advice!
106
00:04:33,053 --> 00:04:36,055
She hasn't stopped talking
for six straight days!
107
00:04:37,591 --> 00:04:40,560
It's all this "I feel,"
"how do you feel?"
108
00:04:40,594 --> 00:04:43,696
"I feel this," "I feel that,"
"I want to know how you feel."
109
00:04:43,730 --> 00:04:45,565
You want to know how I feel?
110
00:04:45,599 --> 00:04:48,701
I feel like I want you
to shut the hell up!
111
00:04:51,071 --> 00:04:53,039
What am I supposed to do now?
112
00:04:53,073 --> 00:04:55,041
Well, I don't know.
Why are you asking me?
113
00:04:55,075 --> 00:04:57,710
I'm single. There's people
that get paid money to do this.
114
00:04:57,744 --> 00:04:59,245
They're called
marriage counselors.
115
00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:00,780
But they don't
give me free beer.
116
00:05:00,814 --> 00:05:03,049
Not free.
117
00:05:03,083 --> 00:05:05,518
Roy, you got any money?
118
00:05:05,552 --> 00:05:06,752
No.
119
00:05:06,787 --> 00:05:09,121
Point to your
least-favorite testicle.
120
00:05:10,824 --> 00:05:11,924
Steve.
121
00:05:11,959 --> 00:05:13,593
I totally like this one guy,
122
00:05:13,627 --> 00:05:15,868
but I'm also into this other guy
who's really bad for me.
123
00:05:15,896 --> 00:05:17,663
Which one should I...
124
00:05:17,698 --> 00:05:19,665
Just pick the nice guy. But
the other guy's really hot.
125
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:21,267
Then pick him. But he
doesn't text me back.
126
00:05:21,301 --> 00:05:22,768
I'm starting to see why.
127
00:05:22,803 --> 00:05:24,303
Wow, somebody's
stressed-out.
128
00:05:25,105 --> 00:05:27,073
You know what I do
when I get stressed-out?
129
00:05:27,107 --> 00:05:29,075
I reach into my nightstand
130
00:05:29,109 --> 00:05:32,678
and I pull out my three-speed
little friend, Mr. Buzzby.
131
00:05:34,248 --> 00:05:35,781
I prefer to work out.
132
00:05:35,816 --> 00:05:37,817
Well, if you use Mr. Buzzby
in the right way,
133
00:05:37,851 --> 00:05:39,285
it is a workout.
134
00:05:40,921 --> 00:05:42,288
Uh, mega apologies, Steve,
135
00:05:42,322 --> 00:05:44,290
but I just plugged up
the crapper.
136
00:05:46,126 --> 00:05:48,895
Tell me the fun part
about this job again.
137
00:05:48,929 --> 00:05:51,931
Selling the bar to your son.
138
00:05:51,965 --> 00:05:54,834
You know, you told me that being a
bartender was like being a king.
139
00:05:54,868 --> 00:05:57,336
Your majesty...
Your scepter.
140
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,242
Uh, be careful in there, Steve.
It's a number three.
141
00:06:04,945 --> 00:06:06,646
What the hell's a number three?
142
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,815
All I know is a number six
took out my father.
143
00:06:13,153 --> 00:06:15,855
[Breathing heavily] Okay.
144
00:06:15,889 --> 00:06:17,590
No more number threes in there.
145
00:06:17,624 --> 00:06:20,126
Hank, next time
just go to the hospital.
146
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,694
Steve, are you done in here?
147
00:06:21,728 --> 00:06:22,895
There's a line of people
148
00:06:22,930 --> 00:06:24,664
who really need
to use the bathroom.
149
00:06:24,698 --> 00:06:26,098
Starting with us.
150
00:06:26,133 --> 00:06:28,601
Uh, you, sir, have lost
your bathroom privileges.
151
00:06:28,635 --> 00:06:32,038
I'm not too proud to diaper up.
152
00:06:32,072 --> 00:06:33,739
Well, at least I fixed
one thing today.
153
00:06:36,677 --> 00:06:38,311
You see that?!
154
00:06:38,345 --> 00:06:41,814
What you did is so disgusting,
even the toilet's throwing up!
155
00:06:46,987 --> 00:06:49,555
In all my years as a plumber,
156
00:06:49,590 --> 00:06:52,291
that's only the second
number three I've ever seen.
157
00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:56,796
Well, thanks.
158
00:06:56,830 --> 00:06:59,098
I saw a number six once,
and it killed the man.
159
00:06:59,132 --> 00:07:01,734
[Voice breaking] Papa.
160
00:07:03,770 --> 00:07:06,272
[Bottle cap clinks]
161
00:07:06,306 --> 00:07:09,008
I can't do this anymore.
162
00:07:09,042 --> 00:07:10,676
Do what?
163
00:07:10,711 --> 00:07:13,846
You know, I'm sick of trying
to save people's marriages,
164
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,648
fixing exploding toilets.
165
00:07:15,682 --> 00:07:18,851
Trying to beg my friends
to pay their bar tab.
166
00:07:18,885 --> 00:07:21,520
[Sighs]
I just want to pour beer.
167
00:07:21,555 --> 00:07:23,990
What are you doing, kid?
168
00:07:24,024 --> 00:07:26,859
I'm done being responsible
for everything and everybody.
169
00:07:26,893 --> 00:07:29,996
So you know what, dad?
I'm checking out.
170
00:07:30,030 --> 00:07:31,263
What are you talking about?
171
00:07:31,298 --> 00:07:33,933
You're a bar man.
We don't "check out."
172
00:07:33,967 --> 00:07:36,669
If I don't,
I'm gonna lose my mind,
173
00:07:36,703 --> 00:07:39,538
and now I got to
pay a plumber hazard pay
174
00:07:39,573 --> 00:07:40,973
when I'm past due
on all my other bills.
175
00:07:41,008 --> 00:07:42,274
Seriously, I don't know
which one to pay first...
176
00:07:42,309 --> 00:07:44,043
The cable or the electric.
177
00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:48,814
Where's Roy?
178
00:07:48,849 --> 00:07:50,216
I'm right here
next to you, Hank.
179
00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:52,952
Oh. I figured
you'd be at the register.
180
00:08:07,961 --> 00:08:09,928
Steve.
181
00:08:09,963 --> 00:08:11,530
Steve!
182
00:08:11,564 --> 00:08:12,598
What are you doing out here?
183
00:08:12,632 --> 00:08:13,899
Still checking out.
184
00:08:13,933 --> 00:08:15,867
I'm watching
some YouTube videos.
185
00:08:15,902 --> 00:08:17,135
Great.
186
00:08:17,170 --> 00:08:19,304
While you're watching
a squirrel water-ski,
187
00:08:19,339 --> 00:08:21,073
there's work to be done.
188
00:08:21,107 --> 00:08:22,876
Look, I get the point,
dad, but, seriously.
189
00:08:23,076 --> 00:08:25,577
What's the big deal if I
just take a little time off
190
00:08:25,612 --> 00:08:28,146
I guess I'll have to show you.
191
00:08:28,181 --> 00:08:31,016
[Whoosh!]
What the...
192
00:08:31,050 --> 00:08:33,652
How the hell did we...
Did we teleport?
193
00:08:33,686 --> 00:08:36,054
Dad, is teleporting
something men in our family
194
00:08:36,089 --> 00:08:37,656
have always been able to do
195
00:08:37,690 --> 00:08:40,158
and you've been waiting
to tell me till I was ready?
196
00:08:40,193 --> 00:08:43,328
Kid, if I could teleport myself,
would I be in Pittsburgh?!
197
00:08:45,331 --> 00:08:46,898
I'm dreaming, right?
198
00:08:46,933 --> 00:08:48,734
Now you got it.
199
00:08:48,768 --> 00:08:51,103
I'm gonna show you what happens
when a bar man checks out.
200
00:08:51,137 --> 00:08:52,704
It's one of those
teaching dreams.
201
00:08:52,739 --> 00:08:54,940
Ah, I hate those.
Why can't I have a sex dream?
202
00:08:54,974 --> 00:08:58,143
You really
want me in that dream?
203
00:08:58,177 --> 00:08:59,945
No.
204
00:08:59,979 --> 00:09:01,880
All right, so what are
you showing me here?
205
00:09:01,914 --> 00:09:03,148
Everything looks the same.
206
00:09:03,182 --> 00:09:04,716
Look closer.
207
00:09:04,751 --> 00:09:08,720
Hello, adorable young people.
208
00:09:08,755 --> 00:09:12,124
Come in for one of Ok Cha's
famous hugs!
209
00:09:12,158 --> 00:09:13,659
[Laughs]
210
00:09:15,662 --> 00:09:16,628
She's nice?
211
00:09:16,663 --> 00:09:18,163
I'm sorry.
212
00:09:18,197 --> 00:09:20,899
I'm just a hugger.
[Laughs]
213
00:09:20,933 --> 00:09:23,635
All right, what's the
bad part about mom being nice?
214
00:09:23,670 --> 00:09:26,171
The bad part is what's
happened to your sister.
215
00:09:26,205 --> 00:09:28,040
What's this?
216
00:09:28,074 --> 00:09:30,041
A glass?
217
00:09:30,075 --> 00:09:35,377
- No. Look closer.
- Oh I see my beautiful daughter.
218
00:09:36,013 --> 00:09:40,249
There's a water spot.
How careless of me.
219
00:09:40,284 --> 00:09:44,520
Should I assume
the punishment position?
220
00:09:44,555 --> 00:09:47,056
S-so, you're telling me all this
happened to mom and Susan
221
00:09:47,090 --> 00:09:48,724
because I took a little break?
222
00:09:48,759 --> 00:09:51,093
There was a power vacuum.
Susan grabbed it.
223
00:09:51,128 --> 00:09:53,529
And your mother,
like all good Koreans,
224
00:09:53,564 --> 00:09:56,799
instantly accepted
the new leader.
225
00:09:56,834 --> 00:09:58,935
So, what exactly am I supposed
to be learning here, dad?
226
00:09:58,969 --> 00:10:01,971
Well, all I know is that
when you're behind the bar,
227
00:10:02,005 --> 00:10:04,040
you let everybody
be themselves.
228
00:10:04,074 --> 00:10:07,176
When you're not,
everybody goes off the rails.
229
00:10:07,211 --> 00:10:09,679
Well, Hank seems the same.
230
00:10:09,713 --> 00:10:12,548
Susan, I'd like
to share with you
231
00:10:12,583 --> 00:10:14,217
how much I support
and celebrate the fact
232
00:10:14,251 --> 00:10:18,087
that you are an empowered,
actualized, female person.
233
00:10:20,858 --> 00:10:24,293
Oh, my god.
Hank had a stroke?
234
00:10:24,328 --> 00:10:26,162
With you not there
to keep him in line,
235
00:10:26,196 --> 00:10:27,763
he offended somebody at work
236
00:10:27,798 --> 00:10:30,099
and they sent him
to sensitivity training.
237
00:10:30,133 --> 00:10:32,568
Did you have fun
at the gospel brunch, Hank?
238
00:10:32,603 --> 00:10:34,036
Fo' sho'.
239
00:10:34,071 --> 00:10:38,041
Those peeps be my homies!
No diggity, no doubt!
240
00:10:38,075 --> 00:10:39,609
After the training,
241
00:10:39,644 --> 00:10:42,846
he got all confused
and questioned everything.
242
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,015
[Sighs]
243
00:10:52,023 --> 00:10:54,624
Well, I'm off to pilates.
244
00:10:59,030 --> 00:11:01,631
Come join us
at the chastity mission,
245
00:11:01,666 --> 00:11:06,069
where our motto is,
"don't masturbate, celibate"
246
00:11:06,103 --> 00:11:07,304
Carol?
247
00:11:07,338 --> 00:11:09,206
Carol: I'm still
working on that motto.
248
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,209
The last one
did offend some people.
249
00:11:12,243 --> 00:11:14,544
"If you're looking for
the original three-way,
250
00:11:14,579 --> 00:11:17,180
try the father, son,
and the holy ghost."
251
00:11:22,587 --> 00:11:25,222
I still can't get over it.
Carol's a nun.
252
00:11:25,256 --> 00:11:28,558
The good part is that Hank
got most of her old clothes.
253
00:11:28,593 --> 00:11:31,695
How did this happen?
254
00:11:31,729 --> 00:11:35,198
Well, Carol had an active
lifestyle with men,
255
00:11:35,233 --> 00:11:37,701
and a lot of people judged her
for that, but you never did.
256
00:11:37,735 --> 00:11:39,569
You always made her
feel good about herself.
257
00:11:39,604 --> 00:11:42,572
Without you, she
started to feel ashamed,
258
00:11:42,607 --> 00:11:44,841
so she became a nun.
259
00:11:44,875 --> 00:11:46,076
A nun.
260
00:11:46,110 --> 00:11:48,578
Sister,
can I ask you a question?
261
00:11:48,613 --> 00:11:50,580
Of course, young man...
262
00:11:50,615 --> 00:11:52,716
Whose bulging calf muscle
is protruding alluringly
263
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:53,850
from his leather pant leg.
264
00:11:53,884 --> 00:11:55,118
Stop! No!
265
00:11:55,152 --> 00:11:56,119
That's not you!
266
00:11:56,153 --> 00:11:57,287
[Clears throat]
267
00:11:57,321 --> 00:11:59,689
I find you
very attractive, sister.
268
00:11:59,724 --> 00:12:01,024
Do you want to get out of here?
269
00:12:01,058 --> 00:12:02,158
[Chuckles]
270
00:12:02,193 --> 00:12:04,761
Your sanctuary or mine?
Oh, no!
271
00:12:04,795 --> 00:12:07,797
♪ This little of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine ♪
272
00:12:07,832 --> 00:12:11,201
What's happening? She sings
till the urge goes away.
273
00:12:11,235 --> 00:12:14,070
♪ Jesus showed me the light,
I'm gonna let it shine ♪
274
00:12:14,105 --> 00:12:17,207
♪ let it shine,
let it shine, let it shine ♪
275
00:12:17,241 --> 00:12:20,010
Hey, uh, where are the guys at?
I haven't seen them yet.
276
00:12:20,044 --> 00:12:22,612
Well, they don't really
hang out together anymore.
277
00:12:22,647 --> 00:12:23,680
Why not?
278
00:12:23,714 --> 00:12:25,081
There's one reason why.
279
00:12:32,590 --> 00:12:34,257
What's your flavor, baby?
280
00:12:36,994 --> 00:12:39,963
How about we go lay across
my big brass bed?
281
00:12:42,066 --> 00:12:43,633
That's Roy?
282
00:12:43,668 --> 00:12:45,769
Without you to give him
marital advice,
283
00:12:45,803 --> 00:12:49,759
Roy ended up getting divorced.
284
00:12:49,793 --> 00:12:53,729
Don't be a hater. Tell me you
want some of Roy's jammy.
285
00:12:53,764 --> 00:12:56,132
All right, I'm dreaming
and that made my skin crawl.
286
00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:58,801
I can't watch any more of this.
Where's Owen?
287
00:12:58,836 --> 00:13:01,270
Well, without you
to pay attention to him,
288
00:13:01,305 --> 00:13:03,639
he had to get it
somewhere else.
289
00:13:05,209 --> 00:13:07,076
[Whoosh!]
[Up-tempo music plays]
290
00:13:07,110 --> 00:13:10,680
[Women scream]
291
00:13:13,717 --> 00:13:15,818
Holy shit.
292
00:13:23,265 --> 00:13:24,766
[Up-tempo music plays]
Owen: Duck...
293
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,369
Duck... goose.
294
00:13:27,403 --> 00:13:29,604
[Grunts]
295
00:13:34,510 --> 00:13:37,379
[Grunts]
296
00:13:44,854 --> 00:13:45,854
[Clang]
297
00:13:49,492 --> 00:13:51,259
I'm really sorry.
Hey.
298
00:13:51,293 --> 00:13:52,527
I'm really sorry, guys.
299
00:13:52,561 --> 00:13:53,895
I'm really sorry.
300
00:13:53,929 --> 00:13:57,332
Lou! We're gonna
need a new pole.
301
00:13:58,634 --> 00:14:01,169
You can't take
your dollar back.
302
00:14:01,203 --> 00:14:02,637
Who raised you?!
303
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,274
[Whoosh!]
[Sighs]
304
00:14:06,308 --> 00:14:08,276
Can we stop
jumping around so much, dad?
305
00:14:08,310 --> 00:14:10,211
I'm starting to get
teleporting sickness.
306
00:14:10,246 --> 00:14:13,081
Or maybe it was
just Owen's g-string.
307
00:14:13,115 --> 00:14:16,084
You think that was bad?
You know who else is different?
308
00:14:16,118 --> 00:14:17,619
Ahmed?
309
00:14:17,653 --> 00:14:19,320
Oh, my God.
What happened to him?
310
00:14:19,355 --> 00:14:20,889
Nothing.
He's exactly the same.
311
00:14:22,224 --> 00:14:23,858
But you know who isn't?
312
00:14:27,763 --> 00:14:29,264
That's Melanie?
313
00:14:29,298 --> 00:14:31,099
This guy she was dating
broke her heart,
314
00:14:31,133 --> 00:14:33,101
but you didn't
want to hear about it,
315
00:14:33,135 --> 00:14:37,105
so she buried her pain
with food and never stopped.
316
00:14:37,139 --> 00:14:39,774
Ahmed, notice
anything different?
317
00:14:39,809 --> 00:14:41,109
Of course.
You lost some weight.
318
00:14:41,143 --> 00:14:44,379
150 pounds!
319
00:14:44,413 --> 00:14:46,414
Right.
I can see your eyes.
320
00:14:48,384 --> 00:14:50,652
Everybody seems to be loving
and supportive towards her.
321
00:14:50,686 --> 00:14:52,821
She has tri-abetes.
322
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:57,358
I got a phat-ass tip on some
big-ass necklaces. You want in?
323
00:14:57,393 --> 00:14:58,626
True dat.
324
00:14:58,661 --> 00:15:00,595
If it ain't chunky,
it ain't funky.
325
00:15:01,831 --> 00:15:05,266
Hello, young man.
My, aren't you delicious.
326
00:15:05,301 --> 00:15:07,335
Please join us
at the chastity mission.
327
00:15:07,369 --> 00:15:09,671
We have services
every Friday and Saturday night
328
00:15:09,705 --> 00:15:12,140
in the back of the rectum...
I-I mean rectory.
329
00:15:12,174 --> 00:15:14,275
Oh, God!
Group song, everyone!
330
00:15:14,310 --> 00:15:18,079
All: ♪ this little light of
mine, I'm gonna let it shine ♪
331
00:15:18,114 --> 00:15:19,781
♪ this little light of mine ♪
332
00:15:19,815 --> 00:15:21,683
- I love holding your hand, Roy.
- ♪ I'm gonna let it shine ♪
333
00:15:21,717 --> 00:15:26,287
♪ this little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine ♪
334
00:15:26,322 --> 00:15:30,091
♪ this little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine ♪
335
00:15:30,126 --> 00:15:32,760
♪ let it shine,
let it shine, let it... ♪
336
00:15:32,795 --> 00:15:34,095
[Whoosh!]
337
00:15:34,130 --> 00:15:36,097
You know, dad, I got to say,
338
00:15:36,132 --> 00:15:37,465
this is the worst
teaching dream ever.
339
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:38,766
What am I supposed
to be learning?
340
00:15:38,801 --> 00:15:41,236
Everybody's different,
but they're still happy.
341
00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:42,837
The dream's not over yet.
342
00:15:42,872 --> 00:15:45,240
There's one more thing
I got to show you.
343
00:15:45,274 --> 00:15:47,375
Now, that guy looks familiar.
344
00:15:49,812 --> 00:15:51,479
Holy crap,
we all do look alike.
345
00:15:54,884 --> 00:15:57,118
Why is the door locked?
346
00:15:57,153 --> 00:15:58,786
[Whoosh!]
What happened?
347
00:15:58,821 --> 00:16:01,256
Sullivan and son is closed.
348
00:16:01,290 --> 00:16:05,126
Everybody's gone. They all
went their separate ways.
349
00:16:05,161 --> 00:16:06,794
I didn't want
Sullivan and Son to close.
350
00:16:06,829 --> 00:16:08,663
I was...
I was burnt out.
351
00:16:08,697 --> 00:16:10,532
I... I just
wanted a little break.
352
00:16:10,566 --> 00:16:13,201
Right, but everybody's happy.
353
00:16:13,235 --> 00:16:15,069
But I'm not happy.
354
00:16:15,104 --> 00:16:19,073
Ah, so who got taught
by his own dream, huh?
355
00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:20,341
[Chuckles]
356
00:16:20,376 --> 00:16:21,509
You see, when you
bought this place,
357
00:16:21,544 --> 00:16:23,278
you didn't just get a bar.
358
00:16:23,312 --> 00:16:25,446
You got the people
who came with it.
359
00:16:25,481 --> 00:16:28,082
There's a responsibility
that comes with that.
360
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:29,517
You're the captain of the ship.
361
00:16:29,552 --> 00:16:31,486
You can't take
your hands off the wheel.
362
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:34,489
No such thing as a part-time bar man.
[Sighs]
363
00:16:34,523 --> 00:16:36,758
So, got your text message.
364
00:16:36,792 --> 00:16:38,826
Uh, what's up?
365
00:16:38,861 --> 00:16:41,462
Just wanted to know if you
wanted anything from the bar.
366
00:16:41,497 --> 00:16:43,731
Like what?
367
00:16:43,766 --> 00:16:45,366
I don't know.
368
00:16:45,401 --> 00:16:47,635
Maybe something to remind you
of this place.
369
00:16:47,670 --> 00:16:50,838
That your family
has owned for 60 years.
370
00:16:50,873 --> 00:16:52,607
Nah, I'm good.
371
00:16:52,641 --> 00:16:55,610
That's been part of the fabric
of this community.
372
00:16:55,644 --> 00:16:57,645
Oh, come on, dad.
373
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,315
The panda express
is gonna do great here.
374
00:17:02,218 --> 00:17:03,384
That's all you have to say?
375
00:17:03,419 --> 00:17:05,820
[Scoffs]
That's all I have to say?
376
00:17:05,854 --> 00:17:08,523
This place passed its time
a long time ago.
377
00:17:08,557 --> 00:17:12,427
This place defines who we are.
You don't feel anything?
378
00:17:12,461 --> 00:17:15,296
I feel like orange chicken.
379
00:17:15,331 --> 00:17:17,298
What a dick!
I'm gonna punch this guy out!
380
00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:19,500
Let me at me, dad!
I want to kick my ass!
381
00:17:21,537 --> 00:17:23,805
Steve! Steve!
382
00:17:24,773 --> 00:17:26,140
Wake up.
383
00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:28,509
Dad. Wait a minute.
384
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:32,847
Hello?
385
00:17:32,881 --> 00:17:34,282
All: Hi, Steve.
386
00:17:34,316 --> 00:17:37,552
Oh, thank God.
Everybody's here.
387
00:17:37,586 --> 00:17:39,821
Uh, Hank...
388
00:17:39,855 --> 00:17:42,290
How do you feel about
women in the workplace?
389
00:17:42,324 --> 00:17:44,292
Uh, bullshit.
390
00:17:44,326 --> 00:17:45,426
Yes!
391
00:17:45,461 --> 00:17:47,729
Melanie, what are you eating?
392
00:17:47,763 --> 00:17:49,631
[Muffled] A salad?
393
00:17:49,665 --> 00:17:51,366
Yes!
394
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,835
Hey, Owen. Have you recently
worn a g-string?
395
00:17:55,871 --> 00:17:56,838
No.
396
00:17:56,872 --> 00:17:58,306
Yes!
397
00:17:58,340 --> 00:18:00,308
Hey, Ahmed.
398
00:18:00,342 --> 00:18:01,382
Carol, where are you going?
399
00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:03,444
Oh, I'm off to church.
400
00:18:03,479 --> 00:18:05,146
Oh, no, it's happening again.
401
00:18:05,180 --> 00:18:07,715
Well, first I confess
my sins to the priest,
402
00:18:07,750 --> 00:18:10,184
and then we
work on making new ones.
403
00:18:11,587 --> 00:18:14,188
I'm loving this new pope.
404
00:18:14,223 --> 00:18:16,057
So am I!
405
00:18:16,091 --> 00:18:18,393
Steve!
Bring it in.
406
00:18:20,462 --> 00:18:22,430
Turns out that
listening to a woman thing
407
00:18:22,464 --> 00:18:25,099
you hooked me up
with was revolutionary!
408
00:18:25,134 --> 00:18:26,801
My wife is so into me now.
409
00:18:26,835 --> 00:18:29,671
Sex wasn't this good
when the sex was good.
410
00:18:29,705 --> 00:18:31,706
Turns out, if you're willing
411
00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:34,175
to take in
what a woman is saying,
412
00:18:34,209 --> 00:18:36,477
she's willing to take you in,
413
00:18:36,512 --> 00:18:40,214
even at work after hours
on top of your boss' desk.
414
00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:41,616
That's awesome.
415
00:18:41,650 --> 00:18:42,817
Thanks, Steve.
416
00:18:42,851 --> 00:18:44,686
Hey, that's what I'm here for.
417
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,689
[Sighs] You know, dad,
418
00:18:47,723 --> 00:18:49,624
I get what you mean
about not checking out.
419
00:18:49,658 --> 00:18:52,493
Helping out Roy feels good,
420
00:18:52,528 --> 00:18:54,829
and that'll get you through
some pretty crappy bar days.
421
00:18:54,863 --> 00:18:56,764
Did for me.
I'm sure it will for you.
422
00:18:56,799 --> 00:19:00,101
Are you feeling okay, kid?
You seem a little off.
423
00:19:00,135 --> 00:19:02,303
Yeah, I...
I had this weird dream.
424
00:19:02,338 --> 00:19:05,285
The bar was closing,
everything was different.
425
00:19:05,319 --> 00:19:07,053
Susan was mean.
Mom was nice.
426
00:19:07,088 --> 00:19:09,856
Your mother was nice?
That's a major turnoff for me.
427
00:19:09,890 --> 00:19:12,425
I need your mother's rage
for the jackhammer.
428
00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:14,361
I know.
429
00:19:15,096 --> 00:19:17,530
Yeah, I got it!
I got it!
430
00:19:17,565 --> 00:19:19,032
Hold on a second.
431
00:19:19,066 --> 00:19:20,634
How do I know this is real?
432
00:19:20,668 --> 00:19:22,469
I've seen this
before in movies,
433
00:19:22,503 --> 00:19:25,372
where the dream is real, but
then it's not, but then it is.
434
00:19:25,406 --> 00:19:28,642
Mom, if I was a customer
and I ran out on the bill,
435
00:19:28,676 --> 00:19:29,843
what would you do?
436
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,444
I'd track you down.
437
00:19:31,479 --> 00:19:32,612
And then?
438
00:19:33,614 --> 00:19:35,982
Choose your
least-favorite eye.
439
00:19:37,084 --> 00:19:41,788
Whoa!
It's go time! Yes!
440
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,401
So, Steve, you look like
you're feeling better.
441
00:19:51,435 --> 00:19:54,737
I'm all good, dad.
Just grateful to be a bar man.
442
00:19:54,772 --> 00:19:56,506
Steve, the cable's out again.
443
00:19:56,540 --> 00:19:58,007
And the fridge is broken.
444
00:19:58,042 --> 00:19:59,409
And there are ants
in the pretzels.
445
00:19:59,443 --> 00:20:02,879
I mean, they're not bad,
but still.
446
00:20:02,913 --> 00:20:05,081
This doesn't get
any easier, does it?
447
00:20:05,115 --> 00:20:06,149
You want the truth?
448
00:20:06,183 --> 00:20:07,750
Not really.
449
00:20:07,785 --> 00:20:09,185
But, dad, tell me,
450
00:20:09,219 --> 00:20:11,754
how did you keep it going
all these years by yourself?
451
00:20:11,789 --> 00:20:15,792
Well, I wasn't by myself.
I had your mother.
452
00:20:18,796 --> 00:20:20,997
I guess I got to find
someone like her.
453
00:20:21,031 --> 00:20:22,498
Oh, God, that sounds bad.
454
00:20:22,533 --> 00:20:25,435
Don't worry. You'll find
the right one for you.
455
00:20:25,469 --> 00:20:28,004
But how do I know
when she's "the one"?
456
00:20:28,038 --> 00:20:29,038
Hi, Steve.
457
00:20:29,073 --> 00:20:30,773
Hang on a second, Melanie.
458
00:20:30,808 --> 00:20:32,275
I mean, if there's just
a sign, something that said,
459
00:20:32,309 --> 00:20:33,910
"this is the woman
I should be with"...
460
00:20:33,944 --> 00:20:35,978
Steve.
I said, "just a second."
461
00:20:37,347 --> 00:20:38,781
Someone with similar interests,
462
00:20:38,816 --> 00:20:40,983
somebody I had
a lot in common with.
463
00:20:41,018 --> 00:20:42,251
Steve, I just wanted to ask you
if you downloaded
464
00:20:42,286 --> 00:20:44,187
that new Haim song
I told you about.
465
00:20:44,221 --> 00:20:46,289
I did, yeah, it's awesome.
You know they're coming to town?
466
00:20:46,323 --> 00:20:48,124
- Oh, we should go.
- Definitely.
467
00:20:49,093 --> 00:20:53,196
You know, somebody
who just gets me and it's easy.
468
00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:55,071
Someone I could spend
the rest of my life with.
469
00:20:55,099 --> 00:20:58,201
Buy me a drink, and we'll talk.
470
00:20:58,226 --> 00:21:00,226
Sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com